Thanksgiving 2011. I am beyond thankful this year. This yeas definitely shown me what it truly means to be happy and complete. There were a hell of a lot of ups and downs, but I know I’m a lot stronger than I was at the beginning of this year. I’m so blessed to be living the life I was given, even though it may be a bit of a struggle at times.
I have learned that people will always come and go in life; whether their purpose was just to make you happy for a moment in time, or for them to teach you a life lesson, people will always come and go. So, with that being said- how do we truly know if we’ve met “the one” ? The one who will stick around no matter how hard the times get. The one who will put up with all of your mood swings and temper tantrums when things don’t go your way at one point. The one who will cherish you and your very existence. The one who will give you their time and effort. The one who will give you their all because they know you’re the one who deserves it. The one who you can call at 3 in the morning knowing that they have to get up in 3 hours for work or school, and they wouldn’t have the slightest bit of hesitation answering it because they’re there for you and care for you more than anything. The one who you can either have endless conversations with, or have moments of complete silence with, and they’d still enjoy your company. The one after every fight will be the first to apologize, not just because they’re tired of fighting with you, but because they’d be willing to take the blame for anything because they love you that much. The one who will love you to pieces even with every flaw you have. See, it’s so easy to just write all of those down and check them off as you go when they’re always sitting right next to you or just a single drive away. But what happens when they’re not? When they’re in a totally different state or even half the world away from you? Things get so much more challenging, but still, nowhere near impossible.
Finding “the one” is already hard enough as it is, but determining if they are truly “the one” is a whole different side of the story. Anybody you meet could possibly make you feel like they’re “the one” if they have the ability to make you happy for a period of time. But what happens when things start to go downhill with that person, and you all of a sudden break up? The whole meaning of being “the one” fades because you made the mistake of calling them something they truly weren’t meant to be in the first place. Saying the three most strongest words when they’re not meant to be said is bad enough, but giving someone such a remarkable title that’s not meant to be theirs I believe, is worse. You just can’t use the words “I love you” and “you’re the one” so freely like that. If you don’t mean it, why say it? I know it’s so easy to say such things when you feel like your whole world is spinning just because of that one person, but don’t be too quick to judge. So back to the major question… How do you determine if he/she is the one?
Well, it’s not easy. Hell, it’ll never be close to being easy. Love itself, is probably one of the most complicated and most frustrating things on Earth. I’ve dealt with many things growing up, and falling in and out of love was a huge part of that. But even after all of my past experiences, I can honestly say that it only gets harder as you mature. Why? It’s for that exact reason- You’re maturing. Love to you isn’t the same as it was when you were younger. Your definition of love is no longer “the thing my mommy and daddy say to each other every morning before work”. But at the same time, the more you mature, the easier it can be for you. It all really just depends on how you look at things. My answer to the question though, is this… I don’t think you’ll truly 100% know if you’ve found the one or not. Regardless of the type of relationship you’re in, whether you’re in person or long distance lovers, it will always be difficult to tell. Just don’t go throwing the words “you’re the one” out to just anybody. If you feel it in your heart that you’ve found the person you’ve been searching for, tell them. Does that mean they’re the one for you? Maybe, maybe not. Even after couples get married, we have to remember that divorce exists now, and just because you’re married, doesn’t mean you’ve found “the one”. And no, I’m not saying that to look down on marriage because I believe in marriage with all my heart and wish to have nothing to do with divorce when my time finally comes to get married, but with today’s society these days, it really is more difficult to tell. All I can truly say is, never lack on love. Always love fully if they’re worth it, but trust carefully. Be careful whom you give your heart to. And most importantly, don’t ever let anyone have the ability to take away your smile. Leave room in your heart to love and respect yourself. Because if you don’t love and respect yourself, how could you ever expect someone else to love and respect you? And how could you ever love and respect someone else?
Now I’m not a relationship specialist and I really am no one to tell you how to love someone, but I really hope this helped, even just a little bit. Just remember- true love is sacrifice. You are going to have to give up a little of your spare time to spend it with your significant other, just like they’re going to have to do for you as well. Just learn to compromise with one another. Take time to make things work, and if it’s not working, make it happen somehow. If you truly love each other, you’ll do everything it takes to make things stable again. Always find that healthy balance with each other. It should always be 50/50. Nobody should ever be the leader nor the follower, because you two should be walking side by side and hand in hand. But always be ready to learn from the other, give to the other, and receive from the other. Because a healthy relationship is about give and take, not lose or win or who’s right or wrong. Love each other, trust each other, have faith in one another, pray for one another, take care of one another, be there for one another, and never lose hope in your tomorrow together. Because if there can be tomorrow, why the hell can’t there be another one? Make it work.
My last and final words… It is going to be tough. It’s a challenge finding love. It’s a challenge being IN love. Love is an everyday challenge, but it also makes you stronger. It tests your endurance. It builds your faith and trust. It helps you find and build yourself. It may take you a couple of the wrong one’s to help you finally get to “THE ONE”, and that’s completely okay. That’s normal. And for all my long distance lovers out there, BIG UP’S TO YOU! Thank you for being the few people who believe in love and loving someone, even at a distance. I know it gets hard sometimes, but keep at it. Keep fighting for the one you love, and don’t let all that constant negativity from others bring you down. Everyone is destined to be with someone- just don’t rush into it. There’s a time and place for everything. You’ll get there. You’ll make it. You’ll be okay. Just hang in there <3
“Don’t give up on your faith, love comes to those who believe it, and that’s the way it is.” — Celine Dion.
I know that you do all you do just for us to live a better life than you did, but I honestly don’t believe thatyou’re always right. Honestly? No, you’re not always right. Period. You may want what’s best for us, but wanting what’s best for us and always insisting you’re right about what’s best for us are two completely different things.
You want us to open up to you more? Actually take the time to LISTEN. And by “listen”, we don’t mean just listen to the parts where you like what we’re saying. We actually would open up to you guys more if you weren’t so judgmental about everything. You really don’t need to get so butt hurt and you most certainly don’t have to overreact about every little thing we say. Just listen to us. Because whatever it is we’re going through, it could literally feel like the end of the world for us. And as your kids, we deserve your immediate attention every now and then. We don’t ask for much when we try to open up to you. Just be willing to accept that we may have made a big mistake and that we’re scared shitless of what you’re gonna say or do. & be willing to hear us out, no matter what happens. The good, the bad, and the ugly… Just be there for us. Maybe then we would be more comfortable opening up to you guys.
You want us to stop dating at the exact moment you tell us to? Well, have you taken the time to get to know our significant other? Have we ever had a serious conversation about how they make us feel and what they do for us? Have you ever taken into consideration that maybe, just MAYBE, we may have found “the one” that we can finally feel complete with? Have you ever thought that maybe we’ve already fallen in love? Okay, let’s get one thing straight… There’s a HUGE difference between justifying who’s good enough for us to be dating and just flat out saying, “he/she is not the one for you”. You spend your whole time raising us, teaching us right from wrong, and one of those life lessons happen to be to never judge someone before you get to know them because you never know what they’ve been through and every person has their own story. Yet, you sit there and point your fingers at our significant other, and refuse to put your pride aside. Yeah, you want what’s best for us, but honestly? If you think judging our significant other and telling us that they’re not the person you want for us is “the best” for us, then you’re wrong. — Let us make our own mistakes. Let us fall down and face reality. Hold out your hand, but let us decide when to reach for it. Don’t push us out the door by suffocating us in the safety zone. Let US decide if they’re right for us or not.
What you really SHOULD be teaching us is that life is full of shit storms. People are going to mislead us and betray us when we least expect them to. The people we were once really close to may or may not end up in our future, and all we can do is learn to accept that and move on. We’re going to get hurt, regardless of how careful we are. In order to completely develop a sense of how the world really is, we need to step out of our comfort level and just go for it. We need to trust some of the wrong people at some point only for us to realize who’s really worth trusting in the end. That dead ends don’t only appear on the roads, but in life as well. Never lose faith in ourselves and to always believe, even when everything we want in life seems impossible to reach at the time. Let us know that no matter what happens, you will be there to support us. And that even if everything seems to be falling apartnow, we WILL get through it.
I honestly think you guys try too hard to protect us from the world when in reality… You should be pushing us to face it, and letting us realize it on our own. Regardless though, don’t get us wrong, we are extremely grateful for all that you do for us. Even if we’re stubborn and hard headed at times, that doesn’t mean we don’t love you or appreciate your existence in our lives. Truth is, we need you. & we know that you know that more than anyone else. But please, just take the time to hear us out and at least try to understand us. Learn to compromise with us instead of always trying to get your way out of things.
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Ever sit and just stare at the cars passing by? The different people walking along in the street? It’s interesting looking at where they’re headed; how you’re going the same direction for one moment, then one turn to the right can change everything. You never truly know where a person is supposed to be, let alone where their final destination is. All you have are little encounters, then you both go your separate ways. But that doesn’t make your destination more or less important than theirs. So always be thoughtful. Humble. Never judgmental. Because that one destination is a stepping stone towards their next destination- their next move. Just like yours. Your destination, your thoughts, your feelings may not match up- but both your intentions are immediate responses from your last destination. Your last encounter. Your last laugh, or your last cry perhaps. Everybody has someplace to be at a certain time. Everybody’s trying to get through something in life, trying to get to something in life- You’re not the only one. So go ahead and get to your final destination. Just remember to never take for granted all the little encounters along the way, most importantly the people that you meet and the trials that you will face. Because in the end, it’s not about your destination, but simply how you choose to get there. You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Cherish life & live it to the fullest. - James 14:4
